silent hole

Mmmm.........

It felt tingly the whole night. The pain, satisfying pain like self stabbing.

I decided to become ninja on msn. Appearing offline most of the time. So i can focus on people who I think should be in my life.

But as I know, my emotion isn't always stable; and neither are my thoughts.

Coffee with motdick was nice. I could let a lot of things go.....

The thing is, I met her "bros" there. They seemed to know everything. What other attitude from them could I expect apart from a short stare of "what the fuck are you doing here" and a back to my wave when they left.

Oh well. All is for the better so i'm satisfied. She hasn't called me or sms me, whatsoever since my last wish of goodnight. Mmm.... i guess it's a good sign? lol. I dont knowwwwww. sigh. I'm weak emotionally too.. at times. I know i'm running away from the pain i might get later on if we had kept our bonds together. But yeah. maybe a few more years, i will talk to her, normally, again.

Anyway, earlier in the day, i was thinking wether i should blog my actions or my emotional thoughts.. but couldnt come to any solution. So i decided to mix them lol. Stupid point, but i just had to say it.

Oh did i say, i got a job at mum's place now. I think i'll be happy with it. Doing heavy stuffs is like working out, yet, i get paid. :) Hence why i'm sleeping earlier tonight.... maybe 10 or 11.. or 12ish... I mean it's pretty hard to change my pattern from almost 1 month of 5am bedtime to 10pm bedtime! fkn 7 hours difference lol.

Yohohho, i shall add more things later on... if i dont sleep yet, by then.

Goodnight.

PS: LOL @ TONY TANG'S LAUGHING WHEN GET PULLED OVER HAHAHAHAH. hilarious shit :)

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So im back. Been spending the last few hours trying to organize a date for a friend's dramatic romance to get to an end haha. It was very.. entertaining :) I hope she knows what she wants to do and say to the other person on the day though. I wonder if I should lend her a shoulder if she get to the crying point or not... hmm.. and i think i should take her back... which i will need a car for that evening... A saturday? pretty good chance to get the car anyway.

Sometimes i wonder where is my life going to anyway? i have a big goal and working towards it. But lack of motivation seems to be so overwhelming in this society. But either way, I can say that I'm enjoying every single moment of life. Wether it is pain or joy, I appreciate all these things.

Now now, who will be the first person to read these blogs? im very curious. So [b]if you found this blog, somehow, you must tell me on msn ok![/b] it's a promise ;D

Bedtime now, waking up at 5 :) or 5:30 ..... sigh! haha. New day is awaiting!

PSS: I really hope my aunty in America is coping well. She seems to have got a big shock sometimes in the last week :( i wish i was there to comfort her.................................