Shattered

So what I felt was right and true.. I want to blame her for being misleading, but I now realise that it is me who misunderstood what she said.

Last night, right at the point of realization I felt a mass pain, ache in my chest. It hurts. Maybe we're too different. I tried to get her to see my point of view. But she never does, even though she said she understood. If she did, and if she even disagree, she would never have replied like such. "Cant we be friends?". sigh . if I could, I would.

She said I am being a little selfish at this point. And she's right. I'd rather run away and save me some pain, lots of potential pain in the future. We're too different, our point of view on friendship, love, sex, best friends etc... are no where close. What we want isnt the same either.

If I go.. the only thing she'd lose.. to her, is a package of friend with a lot of problems. So why, why does she keep on pulling me back. She has so many friends, and can get so many more. She doesnt need someone like me. She deserves so much more .... so why.. all these troubles...

she said.. give her time to think, to decide... but it felt like i'm trapping her, forcing her to do things she doesnt want. I Dont Want such kind of forced feelings.. even so, i agreed not to leave.. until she gives me an answer..

sigh..................................................................... ...........................................

whitepetal....

I will now.. end the confusion. Hopefully.