Confusion...

Hi there....

So many things had happened since my last blog.

.... so so many things.... they're good things.. yet why do i feel funny still...

The day after Peace, we went to the beach.. the breeze calmed my thoughts but my mood was still highly troubled. Whitepetal seems to be closer to me, just like how we were back then...

Im sorry, i cant remmeber very well now. But i think that night, we fought once again about what i want. Freedom, and part of petal (but i really want the whole Petal... but that would be unfair) so it was very... weird.

At first, i thought everythign was normal again.............. but! . . .

We agreed to attend the festival together in the early of the night, then later, we fought about what i wanted and so it was intense..

The next morning (festival) i wanted not to go, but i've already told her to come.. so i just had to come.

The whole afternoon at the festival was very uncomfortable for me. She keeps pulling me back EVEN the night before she told me i just cant have both my freedom and a petal. So it confuses me for hourssss.

As the night approaches, I got bored and decided to leave first, so she had to come with me since she doesnt really know any of the people i took her to...

- skipping some part -

Then she told me.. i already have both. (my freedom and the petal) i was so so so happy... especially the way she said "yes" to my final question. That "yes" made up for my whole day.

But I sensed somethign different as soon as we talked at night..... it didnt seem much. But it was a whole world different to the petal i wanted. And it somewhat troubled me.

------------------------next day--------------------------

After work, I went to coffee and asked her to come out to see me. From the moment she sat down, I was very certain something was different. The petal I had last night was swapped/changed/evolved.... it sadden me... but i keep telling myself.... it is unavoidable after the damage i did? is it?....

And finally msged her and ask if everything was okay... there was no response to clear my question...

Until now. right at this moment... i shall try to look into the problem... and retrieve my precious whitepetal.